Day 1

My Dearest Cat:

There is no words can describe what I am feeling now. Big dog doesn't want me to lost in all the sad thoughts, so we drive to a picture liked town call "Lincoln". While we are on the way I saw this two stunt aeroplane trying to draw a heart in the Sky. Your face jump right in front of my eyes. It is just like you are next to me and watching this with me. I was imaging your excitement and jumping around like a real CAT. That reminds me the day that we went to fly a kite in the wollaton park. I remeber that was your first time to fly a kite and you are so happy and excited. And We are just so enjoying the moments. The kite is flying high up into the sky, and you face are just full of happiness. I can never forget that day, today I have been watching that short video again and again, and it now just make me sad.

I am so regret now, how in the hell can I neglect you for such a long time and make your life feels with loneness for two whole years. I am just a stupid bear that has hurt my dearest Cat. Today I realise that you are the most precious gife that have given to me by the god. But I fail to protect you and treasure you and let you to slip away from me.

Today is Valentines day, I wish you have spent a great Valentines day. And I will also have a great Valentines day by memorising our first Valentines day spent at the little room in Albion House with all those lovely candles and glasses of Champions. And that movies called "the girl with the pearl earring", I am not that good a art movie watcher, and I still remeber falling asleep next to you while watching. Everything seems so quiet, so warm, so sweet and so peaceful. I felt that I am the luckiest and happiest person in the world. I am willing to trade everything that I have for that moment, or maybe just one more time or even one second of that. But no, life will never be the way we want it to be......

Everyone have their rights to pursuit their happiness, and you too. I start to under stand why you are getting away from me. It is a tough a world out there..... and you are alone..... All I can say now is that I am sorry. And I remeber you ask me in phone once do I love you and why I never say "I love you" to you. The answer is YES, I Love you. I love you all those time, I am just not good at expressing all those in words or over the phone. I was so regret that time in the phone I brush you away from this question. After put down the phone, I was so regret that I didn't say that.

I wanted shout to the world at the top of my voice that "I Love you". But it is too late, and no matter how lound I shout, the distance is too far for you to hear. And I will not mean much to you any more.

OK........I think today I have say too much that I shouln't say, and my heart is hurting so much.

Again, happy valentines day, my love, my cat......

yours